In the previous blog post, le hubby shared some of ours and his perspectives on the idea of having a baby.

I think not all of his perspectives and mine match up perfectly. So I thought I should write a post with "my side of the story".

[Image source: https://renegadeexpression.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/childfree-poster_zps3b89bb65.jpg]

In an old blog post about our first year wedding anniversary, I wrote about our plans for a "monkey baby", which would be by next year.

I thought we would be ready by now.

Unfortunately, instead of feeling ready as time went by, we are now feeling less ready than before.

As what le hubby had mentioned, we are now contemplating whether we want to have a baby, or if it's a must to have one as it is the "natural progression of life".

I think if I ever want to have a baby (for sure), it will be because I am ready to be a mother. Because I want to experience what it's like to be a mother. Because I want a child of our own. But now, I am not ready. I don't feel it.

I agree with le hubby... in that having a child would be good for old age, but I think not having one would be fine too, looking at how the society is now preparing for the aging population. Funeral, yes, to a certain extent, I am rather concerned about that too if we were to be childless and have no nephews or nieces in the future. As for family name, it's not a concern of mine.

Anyway, I think I have, or rather we have, A LOT more concerns about having a baby than not having one. We are worrywarts by nature in the first place.

So since this is such a life-changing decision to be made, we worry even more.

I have my set of concerns, he has his. And then we have shared concerns. It's very jia lat.

Anyway, these are my main concerns:

Concern #1: Financial ability

Currently, we earn just enough to live comfortably. We can give our parents money and buy our own things.

Having a child will cost so much, and even more as he/she grows up. Checkups, hospital, diapers, school fees, tertiary education, etc.

Can we manage?

I have always wanted to be a mum who can be there for my child during his or her first few crucial years, can I do that? Can we survive on single income?

Concern #2: Will I be a good parent? 

Can I teach our child well? Can I inculcate good morals, habits, behaviours?

Will I unknowingly spoil my child? Or will I be too overly strict?

Will I be a lazy mother ('cause I am already quite lazy at home nowadays)?

Concern #3: Will our child turn out to be a good person?

Linked to the point above. But adding in the external factors like school mates, classmates, friends, etc.

Will our child be led astray despite all our efforts to keep him/her on the right path?

Will our parenting style turn out to be detrimental and build up bad character?

Concern #4: Will we fight more?

How will we handle parenthood? Will we fight more over decisions to be made for our child?

Will we start to focus all our attention on our child and not on each other anymore?

Concern #5: Will our child be healthy?

The biggest concern of it all. No need for any elaboration.


So....

After weighing all the pros and cons, it really seems like it will be rather unmanageable for us if we ever have a baby.

I agree with what people have been saying, we can never be ready enough. I think it's part gamble, part impulsiveness and part readiness that will perhaps, push us into trying for one.

For now, my set of concerns are holding me wayyyyy back. So far back there's no way I can be impulsive about it.

p.s.: Of course, I know my biological clock is ticking. That is why we have been discussing it a lot more recently. And of course, I know, not everyone can get a baby just because they want it. We are on the assumption that we can... But if we can't in the end, then I guess God made the decision for us.

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