A screenshot of a video that's been going around on Facebook.

The video is most probably from an episode of a Hong Kong TV drama series, and it shows a woman who's trying to seduce a married man into getting intimate with her while his wife's tied up in the living room.

He rejected her advances and told her that even though she's younger and much more attractive than his wife, he's just not interested in her and never will be. She got pissed off and said that it's not possible, because all men are jerks and will take any chance to cheat on their wives... unless he's not a real man.

His reply to that is the reason why people are sharing this video:




"就是真正的男人才要对老婆负责任 
从我结婚签字的那一刻开始 
我就承诺一生一世爱她 
就算是生老病死, 就算是贫穷疾病 
就算她胖到像猪一样 
就算她满脸皱纹也好 
我都会对她不离不弃 
这个才叫爱!

爱就是不会做出对不起老婆的事 不会偷腥 
爱是没有顾忌 也不会嫌弃"

My translation (I am not a professional, but that's the gist of it):

 "A real man should be responsible towards his wife!
From the moment I signed the papers and got married,
I've promised to love her for a lifetime.
Even in illness or death, even in poverty or ridden with disease,
even if she has become as fat as a pig,
even if her face is all wrinkly,
I will never leave or forsake her.
This is what you call love!

Love is not doing anything unfaithful to your wife, not cheating...
Love is not having any qualm, and without aversion."

Unfortunately, we don't really see much of this in reality. Since young, I've seen so many cases of men cheating on their wives. Destroying their families and hurting their children in the process. So much selfishness involved.

But now, the current generation of parents are the ones who may have been hurt when they were young. Hopefully, this means that they understand the consequences better, and care enough to cherish their marriage more.  

Marriage is not just about signing a piece of legal paper to enable you to get a home together and to get government subsidies that singles don't get. It's not just to take the next step because it's part of the natural progression for a relationship. 

It's the vows you took/take to love and to cherish the person you have decided to spend the rest of your life with. 

You decided to marry. So it's you who should put in effort to maintain your marriage and relationship.

It takes two hands to clap as cliche as this may be. Both men and women must put in the effort on a daily basis. It's never easy, especially not in this era. It's a conscious daily effort.

A relationship takes more than love to maintain. 

Communication, acceptance, understanding, forgiveness are all important to any type of relationship. Of course, fidelity too. 

Once we stop communicating, we stop understanding.

Once we stop understanding, we stop being accepting.

And once we stop being accepting, we start to nitpick on every small little thing and stop being forgiving.

When all the negative emotions build up, there'll be resentment. 

Resentment corrodes love.

Without love, what difference is there between two strangers and a loveless married couple?

Love is the link and the reason why they are family. Not the marriage cert.

Without love, what's to stop them from being cruel and careless with each other's feelings (thus the infidelities)? Without love, what's there to hold onto besides a legal obligation?

Occasional fights, quarrels, arguments, or disagreements between two different person do not mean they don't love each other, or that they are not a good match. Those things actually enable us to understand each other better. Then communication, understanding, acceptance and tolerance/forgiveness come into the picture. 

We may never agree with our partner's mindsets or principles, but that doesn't mean we cannot accept that they are different and leave it as that.

I could go on and on with this topic, but I don't think I am going anywhere with this post.

I'm not claiming that I'm a guru at this. After all, I'm under 30 and has only been married for less than a year. All those are just my understanding after listening to people, reading people's experiences on it, and my personal experience in my relationship with Mister Ko. 

Not sure if this will help anyone at all, but let's all work towards a better future with our respective partners! :)

Labels: , , ,


Post a Comment